The recent PBS/POV documentary “Wo Ai Ni Mommy” concerns the adoption of a Chinese eight year-old by an American family. More specifically, it’s a video chronicle of a slightly handicapped older child’s integration into the social milieu of a Long Island Jewish family. Most of the documentary can be rather uncomfortable to watch, in a creeply queasy way, the cringe-worthy kind reminiscent of family get-togethers, as viewers are treated to some possibly unflattering details which collectively seem to make the case for better pre-adoption screening beforehand.
It’s not known from the ninety minutes of screentime whether such matters were involved, as the filmmakers intent appears to be a simple record of what happens in such cross-cultural/racial/national adoptions. Nevertheless, even a psychological evaluation can only do so much, since it’s difficult to guage the subtle aspects of human motivation, which also usually happen to be those bearing the most weight.
In the documentary “Wo Ai Ni Mommy,” one such subtlety concerns the very fact of a cross-cultural/racial/national adoption. While the Sadowskys, the American family featured by this film, were asked why they happened to pick a Chinese girl as compared to any number of kids in the United States, there was never actually an answer given.
It was just love at first sight, claims the mother, which begs the question of why she had happened to select to view Chinese babies first. And even though one with an understanding of the wider context of the popularity of Chinese adoptions in turn-of-the-century America might point out that she had many pals who had also adopted girls from China, the ultimate question of just why China, of all places, remains unanswered.
A fine look into some of the nitty gritty details of older-child adoptions further complicated by language, cultural, and even physical barriers due to mild disformity, “Wo Ai Ni Mommy” is heartwarming while wistful, raising many more questions than it intends to answer, in the process highlighting just how complex an adoption could be.